Here's the page from my spiral notebook journal, dated July 1, 2008:
3:30 a.m.
Incredible stomach ache. Food poisoning? I'm immobilized and cannot even stand up. I can't remember the last time I've been in this much pain. I've already vomited, and thought that all the poison is gone. I was wrong. Minutes later, I vomited again. I realized, that the body will reject even a trace of poison. I can be thankful I have a healthy functioning body. I have to
suffer and
wait for all the poison to leave my body.
So it is with our spirit when we sin against God.
Do we cover up and make excuses for our sin?
God, in order to dwell in us by the Holy Spirit, must purge us (sanctification) of all sin. This may be uncomfortable and even painful because our spirit strives and battles with our carnal, lustful flesh.
Are we alive to the cleansing, or do we deny the Spirit's work? For the Christian, cleansing is a continuous on-going process. Jesus tells us of this daily cleansing. "The one who has bathed does not need to wash,
except for his feet, but is completely clean. " (John 13:10 ESV).
What are some common poisons?
- pornography - don't be deceived by excuses such as it's not real, it's just for fun, and it relieves stress and sexual tension.
- illegal software, movies, music - isn't this stealing?
- materialism - ipods, cameras, TVs, cars, computers, clothes - rather than saying we should get rid of all these things, examine the worth of these things in bringing glory to God. Once you make enough to buy a house, a car, and almost anything you want, consider carefully whether these things are enjoyed to the glory of God or if they add to the poison.
I'm not clean in all these areas and realize that there's still a lot of poison in my body. God help me, cleanse me, that I may see clearly and live victoriously and joyfully.
5:00 a.m.
Just as I'm writing this, I had to make a run to the bathroom to vomit out the rest of the poison. Even when we think we're ok, we must always be alert. To be alive in Christ is to be dead to sin. Since sin still lingers, we must always be at war with it. Do not be deceived - the enemy is always at war with the Christian. However, the outcome has already been determined. The victory has already been declared. It is ours and we must claim it in Christ's name. How good it feels to have vomited all the poison. I am renewed. Thank you God for cleansing me, for your grace which strengthens me.
July 1, 2008 - I'm making a new commitment to the cause of Christ, brought forth by God through the work of the Holy Spirit, revealing the incredible mysteries of God, opening my eyes to the world beyond this world. Lord, make me alive to spiritual things and help me put to death sin and the things of this world. Lead on Lord Jesus, lead on.