The Moon, Self-Distrust, and Trust in God

Study theology and learn about how God is the source and fountain of all things.  Learn about the attributes of God and see if yet in your heart you still believe that God is less than He is and you are more than you are.  Think of the moon.  If the moon could talk like a man and have a personality, it could say within itself, I shine on the earth and every time I'm around, the earth becomes beautiful.  If someone could respond to the moon, they would say, "Listen, you don't do that by yourself.  Don't you know that you have been discovered and found out?  You don't shine at all.  You are simply reflecting the sun's light, so it's really the sun that shines."

Then self comes to the rescue of the moon.  "You're letting your light shine and you're doing a good job," it says.  "When you're not up, one whole side of the earth lies in darkness.  But when you come up, a side lights up and I can begin to see rows of houses.  You're doing a fine job."  The moon would not say, "The glory belongs to God, because it is only by the grace of God that I'm like this."  All the time the moon is thinking that he is shining.

When the moon is shining, it is only a reflection light from the sun.  And if the moon really understood, he could boldly shine and talk about it, because he would know that he was not shining at all.  Similarly, Paul knew that he did not have a thing of himself that was fit for heaven.  He had only the grace of God in him.  It was God and not him.  He completely and radically distrusted himself.  No man can really know himself; he is not capable of knowing how he feels.

It is important that we understand how dangerous it is to trust our good habits and virtues.  Only God can bring us to the point of understanding that our strength is indeed our weakness.  Anything that we rely on or trust can be our undoing.  We do not realize how weak we are until the Holy Spirit begins exposing these things to us.

How does God deal with self-trust?

1.  A flash of holy inspiration in your soul

2.  God-imposed physical discipline

3.  Extreme trials and temptations

You want the Lord to do something for you, don't you?  You want Him to come down on you with a wave of grace.  We want the Holy Spirit to come on us and demonstrate His power.  We want to see all of that, but we need to be careful that we're not trying to work it up on our own.

I do not intend to try to work up anything.  You cannot climb Jacob's ladder without sweat, perspiration and hard work.  The work of God is not dependent on any man's schedule.  I rarely know where I am going in my life's journey, but after I have been there a year, I can look back and see that my path has been relatively straight.  I go to God, write out my prayers, wait on Him and remind Him, but nothing seems to happen.  I seem to be getting nowhere, and then suddenly things break around me.  I look back and see that God has been leading my every step, and I did not even know it. 

I did not know where I was going, but looking back, I can see where I have been.  I do not think we should always look back, but at least we should be able to look back and see the terrain where God has led us -- the valleys and plateaus He has brought us through because He loves us in spite of ourselves.

The more my trust rests in God, the less I trust myself.  If we truly desire to live the crucified life, we must get rid of self-trust and trust only in God.

  

[excerpts from A.W. Tozer's The Crucified Life]